December 10 and going to fail.
Well, the jolliest month is nearly halfway through and it is very clear that barring some sort of Christmas miracle I will not make my weight loss goal for this year.
I am extremely disappointed in myself.
At this point I have lost 104 pounds since January first. My goal is 10 pounds per month, so I really want to be at about 115 this week and staring down 120 by New Year's Eve. Doesn't seem like that is going to happen. Not unless I magically drop 16 pounds in 20 days. And so far, my best has been 13 pounds in a month. Ah, if only I could go to The Biggest Loser fat camp for the remainder of the year!
I am trying not to be too down about it around other people. They just don't understand, anyway. I realize what they are saying when they remind me of how well I have done overall and I try not to argue with them. They mean well, even if they don't get it.
You know, it's the same bug that motivated me to lose the weight in the first place that is sitting in my ear and telling me that I failed. I've been nurturing the pest all year so it would have the strength to tell me things like "don't stop" and "failure is death" when I needed to hear it, so it ain't gonna lighten up on me and say "Good job, fatso! Maybe you can do it right next year!" No, it's going to dig in its heels and drive me to finish the job.
Even though I am disappointed in myself, I would be more ashamed if I gave up now. Because "good enough" just isn't good enough. And sometimes it's okay to be mad at yourself.
I am extremely disappointed in myself.
At this point I have lost 104 pounds since January first. My goal is 10 pounds per month, so I really want to be at about 115 this week and staring down 120 by New Year's Eve. Doesn't seem like that is going to happen. Not unless I magically drop 16 pounds in 20 days. And so far, my best has been 13 pounds in a month. Ah, if only I could go to The Biggest Loser fat camp for the remainder of the year!
I am trying not to be too down about it around other people. They just don't understand, anyway. I realize what they are saying when they remind me of how well I have done overall and I try not to argue with them. They mean well, even if they don't get it.
You know, it's the same bug that motivated me to lose the weight in the first place that is sitting in my ear and telling me that I failed. I've been nurturing the pest all year so it would have the strength to tell me things like "don't stop" and "failure is death" when I needed to hear it, so it ain't gonna lighten up on me and say "Good job, fatso! Maybe you can do it right next year!" No, it's going to dig in its heels and drive me to finish the job.
Even though I am disappointed in myself, I would be more ashamed if I gave up now. Because "good enough" just isn't good enough. And sometimes it's okay to be mad at yourself.
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